In the most tactful way. I am 21, My parents recently got divorced and my father was the one that filed. He cheated on my mom over the internet for 2 years prior and finally filed. All my life growing up he was condescending, insulting and patronizing to my mom. He also was unemployed and refused to get a job for almost 10 years, thus forcing us in to foreclosure and making my mom go bankrupt twice. I know he has mental health issues and my mom began to pity him so she stayed but i dont believe thats a good enough reason. Granted, he never layed a hand on any of us(i have younger brothers) but he used to scream, insult my my mom and when he was in a bad mood it would wreck havoc on the entire household.Even neighbors and friends of ours from CHURCH were suggesting and offering to help my mom finacially get a divorce. To me that speaks volumes if christians whom are taught not to divorce are even suggesting. He now has a new gf that he is verbally abusive too imo and i also think he cheats on. I dont want to hurt my mom but i cant help how i feel. Please give me suggestions this is taking so much out of me I cannot concentrate on my studies.
ill add there was a summer about 8or 9 years ago she did really attempt to leave with the assistance of a friend/ neighbor, but my dad said he wanted to go to counseling instead
wow very good insightful answers
i feel guilty for my choice of words, i dont resent as many of you said she tryed to keep her marriage vows and what was best for us kids

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We are refinancing our house to pay off some credit card debt. I have heard that the debt management companies will negotiate on your behalf and either lower the interest rates or lower the amount they will accept to pay off the debt. I have also heard you can do that yourself.

Anyone have any experience with this tactic? I have also heard that trying to settle for a percentage of your balance will wreak havoc on your credit rating. Is it worth it to save a couple of thousand dollars?

Do you try and reach an agreement with the first CSR you talk with, or does it only count if you negotiate with a manager or other official? Should you get the agreement in writing, as well as any effects on the credit rating? What is an appopriate percentage to ask for (50%? 60%?), or does it depend on factors like amount owed, past payment practices, etc.? Does it help to threaten you might be filing for bankruptcy if they do not settle?

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