I want to start off saying, I love my wife with all of my heart and soul… But lately she has become a completely different person ever since we had our baby. The lack of communication is there, she wants to leave me and the baby at the house on the weekends while she goes out and drinks. She says she HAS to get out of the area and do things with other people because she has some "issues". She pretends like she wants nothing to do with me anymore. All our conversations are, anymore, is her nagging at me about anything. I know she gripes at me because I don’t get overtime or I don’t have a good enough job to support her and her wants and how the job I have don’t make as much as the last job I had. I was a high roller at a factory before the place went bankrupt, total change of lifestyle. She constantly puts me down, I can’t help what happen and I do all that I can for my family, that’s all I can do for now because there is no jobs out there! She has guy friends, that are my friends, over at the house when I’m not there. She has other guys paying our bills, we haven’t had sex in 7 months and at the same time I find a vibrator in her drawer that I didn’t buy for her. I want my marriage to work because I remember what we used to be like before she turned all crazy. She doesn’t want to get up and help by getting a job and contributing to the house hold. All she wants to do it party, it’s like she doesn’t even care. I don’t know what to do anymore and I find myself really noticing the little lady down the road. She’s 23 and I’m 37, she’s a neighbor and a family friend and HOT! I’m friends with her husband and she used to be friends with my wife… before she went all nutty. Her young beauty seems to ease my insecurity and sadness that I have, though I know it’s wrong and at the same time I don’t think I care. They’re having some problems themselves because he got drunk one night and told my wife that she had awesome t*ts. I don’t know if I have a shot with her, but I don’t think I’m that ballsy to go that far. I think what it is is that I can have a decent conversation with someone without them yelling at me. She is ideal woman material, we have all the same interest and we have great conversations. I really started feeling this way about a week ago when I stopped by to ask how her husband likes his new job. I found myself going there before work and just talking to her. But I don’t want to have the hots for the neighbor, I want to have the hots for my wife and I don’t know how to talk to her without her yelling at me every single time. I have tried on several occasions and it seems like nothing helps. I just need some advice from an outsiders point of view that isn’t emotionally involved with me. I don’t know where else to turn. Thanks for listening!
I have asked her to go to the doctor to perhaps get on some depression pills but she declares there is nothing wrong with her and I can’t make her go if she doesn’t want to. I’ve tried to approach her, calmly, but she gets mad and uses it as an excuse to leave. I know it’s emotionally cheating, the way I feel about my neighbor, but I can’t help it with the circumstances I’m under. I never said I wanted to leave my wife, that’s why I asked this question because I want to try and save my marriage and I have been trying for almost a year. Yeah, if I were to start a relationship with the neighbor like that I’m pretty sure she would nag… but not like this. She atleast has a job and is finishing up nursing school, but I don’t even think she’s interested in me anyway. She’s young and beautiful, I’m pretty sure she can get someone better and younger. I guess what you can say is I’m crushing on her because my wife is acting crazy. I like the ideas on the mommy classes, though it’s hard to fin

Technorati Tags: 7 months, conversations, drinks, family friend, getting a job, guy friends, heart and soul, high roller, insecurity, jobs, lack of communication, lady down, last job, lifestyle, little lady, marriage, neighbor, sadness, vibrator, young beauty

I’m wondering how to deal with (on my resume and in person) some issues. I’m in my early 30s and was divorced five years ago. The divorce and some health issues caused me to go bankrupt a couple years after that. I also dropped out of grad school (I had an A average, but I hated the school and honestly was just too immature at the time to deal with marriage and living 700 miles from my family). Will an attorney know I’m bankrupt? Does it make me look really bad? I was always a good student and worker, but the divorce and illness messed up my life for awhile. I went back to school to try to get my finances in a better position.

Technorati Tags: divorce, grad school, health issues, marriage, resume

I got married from a marriage proposal,then after the honeymoon my husband told me that he has debts of us100,00 dollars. So now his mom and he is telling me to bear this and help him to settle debts.I was not told about these debts before and I was shocked after I heard it…..It is unbearable because this is a big amount for us. I am living with him in a developed country ,whenever i remembers this i go crazy.Because they lied me………..Please tell me wot to do now?????????

Technorati Tags: debts, developed country, honeymoon, marriage, marriage proposal, mom

What happened to go plain old family values? Why do people think that they can give away a child’s innocence because they made a mistake? The story goes that the man married his daughter off to his "close friend" to settle debts that he had with him. They can only annull the marriage until the girls reaches puberty. That’s messed up. I think the father, the friend and the judge that decided that should all be put in jail. That’s a child!

Technorati Tags: debts, family values, girls, innocence, marriage, mistake, puberty

I know everyone hates to take blame- but he is the reason we are in this mess. He thought if he walked out on me for another woman that I cared about our credit so much that I would pay his bills. He didn’t understand that he was still responsible for his bills. I tried my best to pay all joint and maintain the house (which the loan on the house is in only my name- he just has a vested interest because we are married). My question is: If I file bankruptcy, don’t reaffirm the house, how long will I have to go before I can buy a condo. Being 51, I cant take care of a house by myself and if I am going to get a fresh start, I can’t think of a better way than to get rid of the mess that got me into this mess right along with all the debt he caused me to incur believing that we were together in a solid marriage. We live in Missouri

Technorati Tags: bankruptcy, fresh start, marriage, vested interest

First I would like to say my first wife was a gold digger!!! I married her back in 1997 & even though I make great money now & made great money in 1997! After my divorce from her in 2005 I continued to make all the payments towards our home,cars,credit cards,4-wheelers,etc….. Since then I got remarried & things are great with this marriage "Thank God!" but last year I finally had to file chapter 7 bankruptcy due to the fact the mortgage my first wife left me with was ,700.00 per month After almost five years of trying so hard to make the payment it all caught up with me last year. Even though I was up to date on my mortgage I finally had to call the bank & tell them I couldn’t make the ,700.00 payment no more & asked the bank if they could just give me a 4.5 interest rate & if they couldn’t I wouldn’t have to file bankruptcy ! After a week went by my bank called me back & said no sir we can’t sorry ! Stunned that my bank had rather me file bankruptcy as to give me a lower interest rate because of a credit score I was floored !!! What the bank was basically telling me was if I couldn’t continue to pay them 8 percent in interest I could go fly a kite !!! So what do I do now ??? What bank would loan me money ? The judge has already granted my bankruptcy!
It’s only been two months since my bankruptcy was granted !!! I want my home back or one like it !!! My home was nice & I can’t live in a shit hole over a credit score system !!! Its all BS if you ask me !!! My income is around 52,000.00 per year & still is ! I need a bank that will work with me on a new home loan & not give me a high interest rate due to a freaking credit score !!! THE CREDIT SCORE SYSTEM IS WHAT GOT ME IN THIS MESS IN THE FIRST PLACE !!! The system is way the hell to picky !!!! If a bank checks your credit it hurts your score lol & if your not even but a few days late on a payment "not months" it hurts your credit score, it just goes on & on… it’s stupid!!!
But anyway I’m a great person & I was good to always pay my mortgage but my banks greed over a credit score system got my bank & myself no where !!! What do I do now ? How can I get a good home without another bank stiffing me? Any help would be appreciated !!!! Thanks

Technorati Tags: amp, bs, chapter 7 bankruptcy, credit cards, credit score, divorce, few days, first wife, fly, god, gold digger, hell, high interest rate, home cars, home loan, kite, marriage, money, mortgage, score system

My husband and I have had some serious financial problems ever since his buisness failed. It has also taken a toll on our marriage, yet things were never great to start. We have been married 9 years and have had two children. He shows no emotion towards me and blames me for our financial distress. He likes to play the blame game, and has never appreciated me and often talks down to me. I am an attractive successful woman who does not deserve this. I am often longing for attention from him, and do not get it. I am finding myself attracted to men when I am out. Our children are picking up on the stress, and I honestly feel he does not love me anymore. When I ask him he will not answer. I would like to get a house of my own, but we are not even dismissed from our bankruptcy. Some days I don’t feel I can wait much longer, but I want to provide our girls a nice home. Please help!

Technorati Tags: bankruptcy, blame game, buisness, emotion, financial distress, girls, marriage, stress

He had alot of income problems with his business so he filed Bankruptcy and my name was never involved ,And last year we filed together and it hurts my income filing with him,I have a daughter from another marriage and I usually get some money back because I only make about 8000.00 a year and now I have to pay in .Is it or am I better off filing by myself to help with my daughters needs or would it hurt more ?
Confused with the tax issues,H&R Block pretty much told me I have to file together..Help !

Technorati Tags: amp, bankruptcy, income problems, marriage, money

2gether since 1/’97. Married 6/’05. Been living apart (seperated) since 2/’07. No assets, just debts. Already agreed on custody, so that’s done. We don’t contest the divorce, but we don’t agree on how the debt s/b handled. I want it split 50/50. All was in my name bcuz of his credit (2 credit cards,2 vehicles & loans). He doesn’t feel he’s responsible for all debt accumulated from 6/2005 – 2/2007 (specifically the SUV he asked for that I’m now left with but don’t want).

4 tax purposes he proposes that we split the divorce & debt issues in 2 and for both of us 2 agree 2 sign off on the divorce b4 December 31st. Then all we have to worry about is the trial 2 settle the debt. However, I am a little apprehensive 2 agree 2 this because I’m not familiar w/ this method & I don’t want 2 miss a step & get screwed w/ the debt we accumulated during our marriage. I’ve read that I can ask 2 reserve alimony 2 use for the debt in case we do end up agreeing and he bails. Is it ok 2 sign?

Technorati Tags: 2gether, alimony, amp, assets, credit cards, debt issues, debts, divorce, loans, marriage, tax purposes

Just curious how bankruptcy laws work. Can only one person file bankruptcy in a marriage or will it affect the other person in the marriage as well?

Technorati Tags: bankruptcy laws, marriage

In the most tactful way. I am 21, My parents recently got divorced and my father was the one that filed. He cheated on my mom over the internet for 2 years prior and finally filed. All my life growing up he was condescending, insulting and patronizing to my mom. He also was unemployed and refused to get a job for almost 10 years, thus forcing us in to foreclosure and making my mom go bankrupt twice. I know he has mental health issues and my mom began to pity him so she stayed but i dont believe thats a good enough reason. Granted, he never layed a hand on any of us(i have younger brothers) but he used to scream, insult my my mom and when he was in a bad mood it would wreck havoc on the entire household.Even neighbors and friends of ours from CHURCH were suggesting and offering to help my mom finacially get a divorce. To me that speaks volumes if christians whom are taught not to divorce are even suggesting. He now has a new gf that he is verbally abusive too imo and i also think he cheats on. I dont want to hurt my mom but i cant help how i feel. Please give me suggestions this is taking so much out of me I cannot concentrate on my studies.
ill add there was a summer about 8or 9 years ago she did really attempt to leave with the assistance of a friend/ neighbor, but my dad said he wanted to go to counseling instead
wow very good insightful answers
i feel guilty for my choice of words, i dont resent as many of you said she tryed to keep her marriage vows and what was best for us kids

Technorati Tags: 10 years, bad mood, choice of words, christians, counseling, dad, divorce, foreclosure, gf, good enough reason, havoc, household, imo, insightful answers, marriage, mental health issues, mom, neighbor, neighbors, younger brothers

I have pretty good credit, my fiance has a credit card bill for about 00 that has been in collections for about a year. The amount on the card was just over 00, everything else is late fees & such.

What are the other risk factors involved? Am I going to start getting calls as his spouse wanting to settle the account? What are the other things that could happen because of this debt once we’re married?

I’m curious because the only things I can find online relates to debt & divorce, not marriage. Thanks in advance.
Also, I’ve been pre-approved for a home loan. Due to his credit, we applied in my name. I’ve already been quoted a 6.3% rate on the loan, but we are just now starting the process to work out a deal on a home we have found. Once we are married, will this rate change?
We’re in West Virginia.

We are also getting married in less than a week. He’s tried to settle a few times, but at this point the only option to settle they are giving is paying the entire debt in 2 payments. We aren’t in a situation where we can afford to pay off over 00 in 2 months or less.
Like I kinda mentioned, impossible to close on a house within the next week, so that option is out.

As far as keeping things seperate, the checking account is already shared. The address thing is impossible as for one he doesn’t want his family to be made aware of this, plus it’s impossible to use another address. When we moved in together, the company started sending letters & such to our new address before other mail was even sent to the new address.

Technorati Tags: amp, checking account, collections, credit card bill, divorce, fiance, home loan, late fees, mail, marriage, rate change, risk factors, thanks in advance, west virginia

My boyfriend of 2 years just moved in with me from another city and we’ve talked about marriage quite a bit; however, we have different views on spending money. I’m a saver/invester (life insurance, 401k, just bought a house and fixing it up to increase resale) and although he doesn’t blow his money, he isn’t saving for retirement (i.e.401k) and is carrying 4k of credit card debt that he’s slowly paying off (he isn’t using his CC anymore to avoid building the debt) He pays all his other bills, though, including 15k of student loans.

I wouldn’t say he’s not responsible, but he doesn’t appear to see the importance of saving or taking care of his debt (or perhaps he’s avoiding the hassle). He works from home as a freelance writer and makes decent money, but he doesn’t have the option of direct deposit and gets no employee benefits like a 401k to make it easy for him to put the money away before seeing it in his paycheck. And now that he’s saving by living with me, he appears to be spending money on other things (not like crazy, but enough to notice) when (I think) he should be paying down his credit card debt.

I’ve brought up the topic, but only in a half-joking way that probably comes across as condescending, but I don’t know how else to approach it. Getting engaged is probably going to happen in the next 6 months, but I honestly don’t want to start planning a wedding until he gets his financial ducks in a row. Since I don’t have a ring on my finger, I don’t feel I have the right to say what he should/shouldn’t do with his money, but at the same time I’m taking mental notes of how it could delay the next step in our relationship or cause problems down the road. I want to bring it up with him now so that he’s at least aware of my concerns so I can avoid being condescending, but I’m not sure how to approach the topic without him getting defensive.

Other notes: I’m 28, he’s 29. My parents raised me to be very responsible with my money. I don’t know how his parents mentored him in money management, but I do know when they divorced when he was 16 they both went bankrupt, even though they lived comfortable previous to that. I came from a wealthier family, but that’s only because my parents worked their butts off and saved whatever they could. His parents are great and also worked hard for their money, but I don’t think they were ‘planners’ when it came to what they made.

Please help!

Technorati Tags: 401k, credit card debt, decent money, direct deposit, ducks in a row, employee benefits, freelance writer, hassle, insurance, life insurance, marriage, parents, paycheck, planning a wedding, relationship, saving for retirement, spending money, student loans

I have been forclosed and the defecit to the lender is to high I have no job after a divorce everything went to ground. I am planning to remarry , however I do not want my current bad credit to affect my fiance. would my old financial issues affect her immidiately after marriage? how to prevent that?
would that be better to file bankrupcy before we get married. what are the provision of the law ?

Technorati Tags: bad credit, defecit, divorce, fiance, immidiately, job, marriage, provision

I know Im a jerk i dont even know what to feel. how bad did i break this girls heart?

this girl is beautiful inside out, trusting, kind to everybody and alot of people take advantage of that including me. prior to meeting me, she was raped by 3 guys.

we are highschool sweethearts. im a player ignored her, treated her like crap, used her for sex and money while having other chicks on the side. she was always kind to me, by my side when i went bankrupt, bailed me out of jail and always, always there for me. one day I realized i loved her and asked her for marriage over and over, she turned me down every time.

Finally she broke up with me, cut contact for nearly 1 year. I missed her but then i fell in love with another woman K. However, 6 months ago i found her on facebook. she sent me a message to "let it go" but i insisted to talk, lost in the moment i confessed my undying love to her. Bam then i was on two boats, i kept her on the side as a "bootycall" but led her on with forever promises.

During this time, my businesses went into debt. this girl took out 00 student loans without asking for it back to help me. gave me her paycheck when my family was in trouble. so i kept leading her on with sweet words till one day she discovered about my cheating. then i disappeared with the other woman K without an explanation.

she was outrageous and sent me many mean messages, then yesterday I got this,

"I sent you many hurtful messages because I was in pain. I never blamed you for loving someone else, we don’t choose who we love. But I can never forgive you for leading me on for sex and money. I truly loved you even when you were broke, sick, selfish and manipulative. You were my first love, I loved you with pure, pure feelings for who you are. When you don’t feel the same, you should have just walked away. When people use me for a few days, a few months, I can just say fuk them. But you, a man who "loves" me, who knows the person I am, the kind of love I had for you, played me for years and years, is unforgivable. I will never forgive you in this life, and life after life. You have hurt and scarred me for life. If everything is a game for you, then you won".

she kept on sending those sentimental messages i had enough

i said " fuk off. i feel sorry for u im gonna change a number"

Technorati Tags: alot of people, chicks, crap, feelings, few days, first love, girls, heart, highschool sweethearts, jerk, marriage, paycheck, sex and money, student loans, sweet words, two boats, undying love

I had a bad marriage and had to file chapter 7 bankruptcy well I want to move to Clear lake because I think it is a very nice area is it possible to get an apartment out there with a bankruptcy on my credit? By the way STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THE BEAUMONT PORT ARTHUR VIDOR AREA! PEOPLE OUT THERE ARE WORTHLESS TRASH!

Technorati Tags: apartment, beaumont, chapter 7 bankruptcy, clear lake, hell, marriage, port arthur, vidor, worthless trash

My ex-husband has to make monthly payments to me to cover debts accumulated during our marriage that I have been paying without his help. This is a court enforced settlement, part of our divorce. He has not made payments and says he can not make them and will file for bankruptcy. Where does that leave me? The debts are all in my name but are listed in the settlement that he signed, many of which I have been paying off with the help of my family.

Technorati Tags: bankruptcy, debts, divorce, marriage

Due to domestic violence in my home, I left my marriage. I drew up a proposal to my (soon-to-be) ex regarding our MASSIVE debt which left me with one medical bill of ,000 (not including interest) and two credit cards of over 00. I also left with only what I could fit in my car and left all our furniture and assets to him. I don’t work full-time, though I’m going to try to soon and I just CANNOT pay these debts. I have no problem with the idea of bankruptcy for myself…however, NOTHING is in my name except our Bank of America overdraft protection credit card and he works for a financial industry and told me that if he has a bankruptcy that he’ll loose his securities license and then his job. It’s not my goal to be malicious and cause that – but I can’t pay these bills. Will it be better for me to wait until the divorce is final and then file bankruptcy on whatever debts the judge gives me? Any advice? I don’t know what to do.

Technorati Tags: assets, bank of america, bank of america overdraft, bank of america overdraft protection, bankruptcy, credit card, credit cards, debts, divorce, domestic violence, full time, furniture, job, marriage, massive debt, medical bill, proposal, securities license

I had to file bankruptcy due to a previous marriage. Subsequently, I remarried and am now divorceing and finding myself in the same debt situation as I did previously.
The debt is not from things that I purchased. Do not always assume such things. Utilities were all in my name, co-signed for his cards and loans. I am a nursing student and do not work, and I have 3 kids. So working is not an option as the classes run from 7am to 3:30pm Monday thru Friday. After class I make dinner, put kids to bed, and then study until 1am.

Technorati Tags: bankruptcy, cards, debt situation, loans, marriage, monday thru friday

I am 23 years old, in college part time and working part time. I am recently divorced and have about ,000 in loans and credit card bills I got stuck with that were all aqquired during the marriage. Since I can only afford minimum payments (and receive no financial aid) I feel like I should look into bankruptcy.
I have two credit cards, so If I file bankruptcy on just my loans (,000) and one credit card, does keeping the one credit card plus an account balance with Dell (for a laptop I financed) help my credit score at all, as opposed to filing on everything I owe?
And everyone says to do it before I get any older if I’m going to do it. And I don’t expect any new bills (I have a dependable car and low rent) anytime soon.
Sometimes I feel like bankruptcy is "cheating" but I had an extra income at the time I signed for the loans, and of course didn’t expect to get divorced. I feel helpless, as the balances barely go down and i’m spending money I need to live, or I’m going to have to quit school.

Technorati Tags: 23 years, account balance, bankruptcy, college part time, credit card bills, credit cards, credit score, dell, dependable car, extra income, financial aid, laptop, loans, low rent, marriage, minimum payments, spending money

My credit is horrible from a previous marriage, and I won’t be able to clear it enough for good credit within the next few years. We are currently renting, but have outgrown our rental house. Which way should I go? We are really anxious to get our own house!

Technorati Tags: marriage, rental house

We have completed our first of five years of a chapter 13. Unfortunately, our marriage is not doing well and we are separating. I am hoping things can work out, but if not, is it possible for us to switch to a chapter 7 and get a complete fresh start so we can both be able to walk away from everything and start over? It is in the State of Ohio.

Technorati Tags: chapter 13, chapter 7, fresh start, marriage, state of ohio

….. He thinks that there is " something better" out there… Well, to make the story short: what are the chances that some woman will "want" him : divorced twice, 5 kids from 2 different women, grandchildren, 47 y.old, filed for bankruptcy last year, short – 5′9", sort of attractive, has no money and has a history of short term raltionships/ losing interest in women fast … Would you personally get yourself involved with a man with such a "resume" ? Would it bother you ? ( he is currently looking online and I feel SORRY for those victims who buy his shellow charm ) THANKS.
I was meaning a woman wanting him for serious long-term relationship or even marriage..

Technorati Tags: bankruptcy, grandchildren, long term relationship, marriage, money, resume

Boyfriend and I want to rent a house. He had two prior evictions from last marriage. Should he file for bankruptcy before we apply? Does filing bankruptcy look worse? Please help!!

Technorati Tags: evictions, filing bankruptcy, marriage

I have really good credit. My fiance made some really bad decisions in the past and has terrible credit. (credit cards, overdrawn bank account car loan …..) We are buying a home . We are planning on getting married next year. I am wondering would it be better for him to consolidate his bills and us try to pay them off or should he just file banktruptcy? We plan on doing something before we get married. We dont have any savings and I have a child and he has three from a previous marriage that he pays support for. My concern about debtconsolidation is that we wont be able to make the payments with everything else we are having to take care of. How bad is a debt consolidation or bankruptcy going to look when we do tie the knot if I have really good credit. Also what kind of affect does that have if any on employment?
I am already buying a home so that is not an issue
I am also being told that chapter 7 and chapter 13 affects your credit in the same way and tat both stay on there for ten years
He no longer has credit cards or bank accounts. All of these things on his credit have been on there since before I met him. I asked for financial advice not for someone to make negative comments about bad decisions made in the past. As for having a budget we already live togather and pay all the bills togather We already have a home that we are buying.
We both work. Who doesnt?

Technorati Tags: bad decisions, bank accounts, bankruptcy, budget, buying a home, car loan, chapter 13, chapter 7, credit credit cards, debt consolidation, debtconsolidation, fiance, financial advice, knot, marriage, negative comments

I need to file bankruptcy stemming from my previous marriage. I have re-married since all that stuff happened, but when i file i don’t want to include my wife in the bankruptcy. Can i still file?

Technorati Tags: bankruptcy, marriage

I cannot do debt consolidation. I would rather not declare bankruptcy. A dishonest ex-husband dumped his debts on me when he shocked me by divorcing me two years ago after 14 years of marriage. This was in TEXAS.

Technorati Tags: bankruptcy, debt consolidation, debts, marriage